Casual mass-murder using bread

Thoughts about casual mass-murder using bread as a weapon.

I’m looking out at the birds eating the seeds that I put out for them while I’m eating a sandwich and I’m just appreciating the beauty of nature and the simple pleasures of life when I realise …

… I’m eating a CHICKEN sandwich.

I feel bad about this and stop chewing and look from the birds outside to the sandwich in my hand. Literally, there is a bird in the hand and some birds in the bush.

How much are they worth?

I consider becoming vegetarian. But then I start to become aware of the half-chewed ball of chicken-sandwich in my mouth. I’m about to open the door to spit it out over the balcony but that would scare off the birds. And then when they came back would they start eating the chicken? Is that cannibalistic? Would I be creating a new breed of bird-eating birds?

And then it’s kind of too late and I swallow the chicken sandwich.

It tastes nice.

I try to think what I can make to eat that’s quick and tasty if I don’t eat the sandwich. I take another bite of the sandwich and carry on watching the birds as I chew on it.

The birds carry on eating their seeds even though they’d happily eat worms and insects too. Murderous animals. But that’s nature for you. Isn’t it?

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4 thoughts on “Casual mass-murder using bread

  1. I am now subscribed. Interesting bread story. I even googled to see whether a worm was an insect and was slapped in my smart-arse face when I found that it can be classified as either and therefore can be construed to deserve distinction. Now I don’t know whether I am a chicken or a hawk or just speaking pigeon.

    1. I feel bad about worms. When I was a kid I believed the idea that if you cut a worm in half it became two worms. Apparently this is not true. There are a lot of dead cut-in-half worms in my past. This must be what it felt like for Pol-Pot and Ceaucescu.

    1. Everyone knows you only piddle in the deep waters. Piddling in shallow waters is just exposing yourself and public urination, both of which can get you arrested and it doesn’t have as satisfying a feeling anyway.

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