The Signs Are Bad

The Signs Are Bad

Some road-signs require us to adjust our driving. But some demand more of us as citizens.

For example:

In order to counteract delinquency in the youth of this area, the authorities beseech any passing adults to immediately seek out the nearest children and warn them strongly about the potential consequences of their deviant behaviour.

Don’t be put off by their innocent appearance or their claims that they weren’t doing anything wrong, just go ahead and caution these children. The authorities wouldn’t put up the signs if it wasn’t necessary, would they?

This call-to-action placed upon us by the Authorities is a significant change in policy in dealing with disaffected youth. Previously there was a more laissez-faire approach to the issue, dealt with through a warning carried on matchboxes saying: “Keep away from children”. Wise advice indeed. But sometimes you can’t avoid children. In fact, they come towards you. Fortunately, the Authorities thought of this and the matchboxes carried a second piece of advice for such situations: “Strike firmly away from the body”.

Obviously the authorities can’t come right out and blame the parents of  the problem-children directly and so instead they are more subtle, just using these signs below to indicate that there are drunk adults in general stumbling around the place in this area.

And just when you thought the area couldn’t get any more dangerous, full as it is of feral children and their drunken parents … You know you’re in a really dangerous area when you’re even warned to beware of the old people!

So, in fairness to the children, not only are their parents stumbling drunks, but apparently their grandparents are seasoned criminals as well. What chance had they really, poor kids?

In an interesting gender twist, however, it’s worth noting that, whereas other signs have warned us that young boys are using their superior size to rob small girls, –

–  in the older generation it’s the more nimble woman who is taking advantage of the enfeebled man’s dependency on a crutch in order to pick his pocket.

Apparently, what goes around comes around. … Eventually!