I’ve come up with an idea for a surefire-hit tv-series.
Viewers want to watch famous celebrities doing things that normal people do: Paris Hilton working on a farm, Katie Hopkins eating and then going on a diet, Lindsay Lohan … um, well, you get the idea. And one of the biggest movie-stars of our time has already built a career on doing something normal.
So, get ready for the reality-tv series, … “Sandra Bullock Learns To Drive”.
The Bullock’s career was launched by the hit film ‘Speed’, in which we essentially watched her learn to drive a bus. And this new series builds on the popularity of the movie ‘Gravity’ in which people were apparently enthralled by Sandra reading a manual and pushing some buttons while learning to fly a space-ship/station/thingy.
She may also have learnt to drive a boat in ‘Speed 2’ but I’m ignoring that (since that’s what most people did with that movie).
The Bullock learning to drive a spacethingy in ‘Gravity’, but in two totally different outfits to make it seem like it’s not just the same thing happening over and over again until all your popcorn is gone.
Building on this proven platform for success, the series, ‘SBLTD’, will follow Sandra as she learns to drive a new type of vehicle each week, from tractors in Episode 1 to golf-buggies in Episode 75, with possibly the highlight of the season being Episode 54 in which she learns to drive the Popemobile (things get unexpectedly exciting when ex-Pope Benedict breaks into the Vatican and takes the Popemobile for a joyride without realising that The Bullock is onboard!!! – this may or may not be the plot for ‘Speed 4’).
The Bullock realises she hasn’t been checking her side-mirrors and suddenly makes a big show of doing so in the hope that the Driving Tester hasn’t noticed yet.
You’ll laugh, you’ll cry, you’ll fall asleep and wake up again and be confused until you remember what it was you were watching before you dozed off.
Paddling in the Shallow Waters 