Following on from previous policies to reduce the visibility and attractiveness of smoking – first moving cigarettes out of sight in shops, and then making all packaging plain and homogenous – the Government is now going one step further and has announced that, from now on, –
– ALL CIGARETTES MUST BE INVISIBLE.
This will have the advantage of making all smokers look like mime-artists which should discourage teenagers from thinking it’s cool and taking up the habit.
Also, the increased difficulty in lighting a cigarette in the first place may cause some people to just not bother any more.
“Sure, I know how to whistle … but how do we light this?”
No Smoke Without … Burning Flesh
The Government admitted that there will be an initial cost to be paid, both physically and financially, due to smokers burning themselves in their attempts to light cigarettes which they can’t see. However, it is hoped that the pain and frustration will cause many smokers to give up – especially when they discover they’ve lit the wrong end of a cigarette for the thousandth time.
A Government spokesman said, “We have always been in favour of transparency in our policies – and you can’t get more transparent than invisible. We are very keen to see smoking not-being-seen … because that’ll make it much easier for us to ignore the problem instead of having to really do something about it.”
Original images (edited by Ripley trout): smoking fingers via ibtimes.co.uk; hand-lighter by My Huy Streetphotography via scopeblog.stanford.edu; Miley Cyrus by Reuters/Remko De Waal via businessinsider.com; Bogart & Bacall from ‘To Have and Have Not’; glove-blonde from corkstopsmokingclinic.com; Bogart and Mayo Methot by Siver Screen Oasis via fanpop.com
Paddling in the Shallow Waters 